Empowerment Through Fierce Self-Compassion

Embracing Your Inner Strength

Emma Willmer
5 min readOct 4, 2023
Photo by mana5280 on Unsplash

I talk a lot about self-compassion. Did you know there’s a part of self-compassion many people aren’t aware of that holds immense transformative power? Kristin Neff’s concept of fierce self-compassion.

Tender and Fierce Self-Compassion

The predominant question self-compassion asks is, “What do I need right now?” More specifically, it is “What do I need to help alleviate my suffering?” Your answer to this question changes depending on the circumstances you face at the time.

Sometimes, we need to accept ourselves in all our human imperfections and love ourselves as we are in the moment. But that doesn’t mean we always want to stay as we are in the moment. If you’re in danger, it’s not the time for self-acceptance; it’s time for action.

  • Tender self-compassion consists of “being with” ourselves in an accepting way. We comfort ourselves, reassure ourselves that we aren’t alone and are present with our pain.
  • Fierce self-compassion involves “acting in the world” to alleviate suffering, our own and others. It involves protecting, providing for, and motivating ourselves. Sometimes, we must stand up for ourselves and others, say no, draw boundaries, or fight injustice. Or we may say…

--

--

Emma Willmer

🌟 Empowering neurodivergent women to embrace confidence & self-compassion. Super-late diagnosed ADHD, now on the autism diagnosis journey 🌸 #YouMatter